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aloring

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aloring

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 306
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About aloring : Hi. My name is Amy. I just turned 21 and I most spend most of the time on this app when my daughter won't sleep.:)

aloring's page activity

Visits<b>juliapereth</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:53pm<b>leagacysgirl</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:32pm<b>GumpyGobbler</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:52pm<b>SaltyJuice</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:17am<b>ncbeach22</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 10:04pm<b>GeneralStew</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:17am<b>NotR3ddy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 4:43pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:59pm<b>anoneemoose</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 8:34pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 2:33pm<b>colombiatti</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 1:12am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 6:41pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 11:11pm<b>LySsa38</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:57pm<b>therosalina</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:12am<b>cucumber10</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 9:48pm<b>whyusofat</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 8:06pm<b>theinformer</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 5:49pm

aloring's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of aloring's badges

aloring's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49784) - you deserved it (6240)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51391) - you deserved it (5820)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

#21014763
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42892) - you deserved it (8410)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by FMLPLZ (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43042) - you deserved it (7341)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54782) - you deserved it (6340)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (6338)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML

#17470290
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26311) - you deserved it (9374)

On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (4224)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32911) - you deserved it (4079)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

#5187635
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59183) - you deserved it (15261)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113018) - you deserved it (8494)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML

#3120236
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50382) - you deserved it (4922)

On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44356) - you deserved it (5021)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML

#1148346
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40731) - you deserved it (23159)

On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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