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alliyah_monaee

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alliyah_monaee

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  • Number of visits : 2730
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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alliyah_monaee's page activity

Visits<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 12:59am

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alliyah_monaee's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26265) - you deserved it (2692)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

Today, I picked up an elderly woman walking alone in the cold. I asked her where she was going but she didn't respond. Thinking she was just cold, I kept driving until a man driving erratically kept honking at me. Turns out he's her husband and she has severe Alzheimers. FML

#21492788
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22484) - you deserved it (2126)

On 11/15/2015 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

#21492751
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21103) - you deserved it (2543)

On 11/15/2015 at 10:21am - kids - by michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend found out that male goats will stick their tongues out, snort, and garble at female goats in heat. Now he's doing it to me at all manner of times, sound effects and all. I now know why goats ram their heads into things repeatedly. FML

#21479981
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23641) - you deserved it (2179)

On 10/14/2015 at 12:22pm - love - by StillnothowIimaginedmydaygoing (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML

#21478471
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/11/2015 at 12:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

#21477811
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29088) - you deserved it (4372)

On 10/09/2015 at 5:06am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed a man die from a heart attack. When I told my dad later, he said "Lose some weight or you'll be next." FML

#21477787
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23687) - you deserved it (5089)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Annienomous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at age 27, I went to pick up the girl I like for my first ever date. Her brother answered the door with a baseball bat, said the date was off and threatened to smash my kneecaps to pieces if I ever came back. FML

#21477785
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25498) - you deserved it (1749)

On 10/09/2015 at 2:39am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out my son told his teachers that I make his brother Tom sleep on the floor, make him stay out of the house for long periods of time, and don't let him use the toilet. Tom is actually our cat. FML

#21477463
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (1765)

On 10/08/2015 at 7:53am - animals - by Bad Mother (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, the 3 girls who have continuously bullied me for the past 3 years gave a class presentation on why bullying is so terrible. Judging from our teacher's comments, they're going to get top marks. FML

#21477334
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27585) - you deserved it (1603)

On 10/07/2015 at 9:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm staying at my grandparents' house. I went upstairs to grab my sketchbook to show off to my grandma. My grandpa is half-deaf, which I guess explains how he didn't hear me. I heard him though, jerking off and muttering the most disgusting sexual things about "Tara." I'm Tara. FML

#21477124
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33500) - you deserved it (1978)

On 10/07/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by T-Bear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter touched a tray I'd just pulled out of the oven. I quickly swatted her hand away, but then noticed she wasn't hurt or burned at all. I then gingerly touched the tray and got scalded. My daughter giggled maniacally as I screamed. To be honest, I'm now terrified of her. FML

#21472776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27845) - you deserved it (3992)

On 09/26/2015 at 12:10am - kids - by :| (woman) - New Zealand (Nelson)

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

#21424643
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29138) - you deserved it (3900)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the man who stole my laptop at the train station yesterday used the contact information I had written on it to call me and ask for the password. FML

#21424633
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28258) - you deserved it (1994)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:46pm - misc - by what - United States (California)



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