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alliekat56's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
alliekat56's favorite FMLs
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
by Anonymous / 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by itsrathersmall / 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm / United States (North Dakota) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/14/2013 at 3:24am / United States (Montana) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/13/2013 at 12:27am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
by BAMN2187 / 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm / United States / Work
Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm / United States (Maryland) / Money
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend started watching The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Now he won't stop saying "Bazinga" every time he says or hears something that sounds funny. It's so annoying I want to feed him to the neighbor's dog. FML
by FUSheldon / 11/28/2012 at 12:15am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML
by Anonymous / 11/20/2012 at 5:41am / United States (California) / Health
by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Doritos / 06/17/2010 at 4:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…