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alival

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alival
  • Town/Country : Chicago, U.S.
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 October 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1891
  • Number of comments : 215
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About alival : Hey! I'm alison but you can call me Ali! I looove motionless in white, falling in reverse, blessthefall, and all time low! I am a proud child of the night/creature whichever floats your boat! I love talking to new people so if you wanna know more about me send me a message!

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alival's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I heard vibrating from inside my husband's desk drawer. Since he's away for the weekend, I investigated. I found an unfamiliar cellphone with an inbound call. I answered it. Turns out, it was his mistress. Neither of us can get a hold of him. FML

#18429716
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/04/2011 at 6:52pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

#18429181
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41732) - you deserved it (3389)

On 12/04/2011 at 5:47pm - love - by Mary - United States

Today, while I was watching TV, my boyfriend took my unicorn pillow pet and made it hump my arm. I told him to stop acting like a child. He replied, "Children don't have sex like this," and started making sex noises while making the pillow pet hump my arm faster and harder. FML

#18425856
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26083) - you deserved it (9585)

On 12/04/2011 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents insisted that despite the fact I've just turned sixteen, I have to save them money by ordering from the children's menu, because I "still look like a twelve year old". FML

#18419165
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26928) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:19pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50961) - you deserved it (5171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

#18399255
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8434) - you deserved it (28282)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:52pm - work - by ChrisD2V - United States (California)

Today, after admitting he had feelings for me, my crush returned from out of town. He'd said that while he was gone, he'd meet people, but only think of me. He came back no longer single. He's known her for 4 days. We've known each other for 6 years. FML

#18369086
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25962) - you deserved it (3230)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:53pm - love - by Mallory - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML

#18369029
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20727) - you deserved it (2166)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:45pm - love - by angie429 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

#18368736
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6131) - you deserved it (34428)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by honor sucks (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up bridal-style to carry me to our bed. As he carried me through the bedroom door, the dog ran between his legs and sent us both crashing to the ground. FML

#18368506
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (2976)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23626) - you deserved it (2227)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32136) - you deserved it (2289)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML

#18364181
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23569) - you deserved it (1930)

On 11/27/2011 at 5:19am - health - by smellyhouse (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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