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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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alice77

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alice77
  • Town/Country : Chicago
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15529
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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alice77's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (99707)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

#1923265 (404)

I agree, your life sucks (87653) - you deserved it (7297)

On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking: "What can I get for you cuntie?" FML

#1751488 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (64653) - you deserved it (17317)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm - work - by keeks_25 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

#1351695 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (54645) - you deserved it (6748)

On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it was my birthday and everyone in the office chipped in to buy me a card, and nothing but a card. It had a pre-written message on it and a space to write "Love, *insert name*" where everyone signed their names. The "Love" was crossed out and replaced with "From". FML

#1316635 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (45541) - you deserved it (3325)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:23am - work - by Gabrielguitar (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

#993932 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (51754) - you deserved it (4314)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I dont pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well technically my fiancée." FML

#992330 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (59288) - you deserved it (9070)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by oops123 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was working as a swim instructor for kids. Teaching them not to be afraid of the water, I put my face in the water and blew bubbles. I asked them to try it. All of them did, except for one. I went right to him and blew bubbles again. He then said to me, "but I just peed in that water." FML

#965194 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (72095) - you deserved it (6271)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:51am - kids - by poolboy (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out my blood type is B. My parents are type A and type O. It's not genetically possible to be blood type B if your parents are A and O. This means I am either an adoptee, a mutant, or an illegitimate child. FML

#915764 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (111467) - you deserved it (4666)

On 04/11/2009 at 3:14pm - misc - by hedgehog5 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (851)

I agree, your life sucks (233304) - you deserved it (20084)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was teaching a swimming lesson to 6-7 year old boys and girls. I recently broke up with my boyfriend so I haven't been taking care of my bikini line. While I was demonstrating how to do a whip-kick out of the water one of the boys said, "You have a beard coming out of your bathing suit!" FML

#333311 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (32728) - you deserved it (50765)

On 03/14/2009 at 10:27pm - kids - by superfkd (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother finally had her beloved Siamese cat cremated. The cat has been dead for over a week and she has been keeping it on her bed, stroking its fur and saying, "She looks like she's sleeping" and "She's so cold." To top it all off, she's been calling me by the cat's name for three years. FML

#293616 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (71304) - you deserved it (2202)

On 03/12/2009 at 10:20pm - animals - by LJ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, a man on the train asked me if i had any change. I quickly responded with "no habla engles". He then tapped me on the shoulder and said "That would've been a lot more believable if you weren't reading that paper." FML

#271640 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (7588) - you deserved it (96559)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:05pm - money - by nthor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (23157) - you deserved it (71451)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and accidentally broke my mother's vase. I said, "Accidents happen." She replied, "Yeah, like your birth." FML

#234028 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (78311) - you deserved it (13174)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:15pm - misc - by Cody (man) - United States (Texas)



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