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About alibear7 : I'm cool shit.
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alibear7's favorite FMLs
by Ugh / 02/16/2009 at 12:45am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML
by Yudansha / 02/13/2009 at 10:10pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
by Shamu / 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by hhaannnnaahh / 02/13/2009 at 2:06pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by oops / 02/09/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by DC / 02/08/2009 at 7:37am / United States (California) / Love
by Noname / 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML
by woo. / 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML
by hahahehehohohoo / 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm / United States (California) / Love
by Noname / 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her itunes was on random. "Rape me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
by RollieCollieUSA / 01/30/2009 at 12:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Noname / 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML
by f__k_it / 01/18/2009 at 11:30am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I needed to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone had left work, I decided that, since I AM a Jedi, my penis ought to be my lightsaber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: "At least someone is having fun!" It was my boss. FML
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…