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aliaskis's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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aliaskis's favorite FMLs
by heatherjo / 11/02/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 12:18pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML
by heathersmorin / 04/08/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML
by cathouse / 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm / United Kingdom (North Down) / Animals
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
by notthedad / 03/15/2011 at 11:50am / China / Love
by Username / 03/12/2011 at 12:10am / United States / Intimacy
by danjoylovefun / 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2010 at 6:50am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML
by cdubb27 / 10/11/2010 at 2:00am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML
by JLD / 10/11/2010 at 12:34am / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health
by Alex / 10/07/2010 at 6:10am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, after months of planning & asking her father permission, I proposed to my girlfriend of five… Today, I was looking forward to swimming for the entire day. As soon as I finally got in the water,… Today, my girlfriend told me that she believes we need to have a less sexualized relationship "in…