Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

aliaskis

Search for a member

aliaskis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2188
  • Number of comments : 104
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

aliaskis's page activity

Visits<b>daffidwilde</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:38am<b>SandyBella</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 7:24am<b>umadbromad</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 10:57pm<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:07am<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 10:37am<b>quincy07</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 5:34pm<b>brittanyx00</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:09am<b>labracabrador</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 9:52am<b>Syruphs</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 10:29am<b>cookycoconut</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 10:18am<b>Spetz14</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 3:23am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:55pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 9:41pm<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:41pm<b>irondog26</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 4:49pm<b>PossiblyPingu</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 2:01pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:30am<b>xDochx</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 4:29pm

Liked!<b>daffidwilde</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 2:39pm

aliaskis's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

aliaskis's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13339) - you deserved it (54581) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my social anxiety got so bad, I nearly had a panic attack when too many people joined my World of Warcraft party. FML

#19033739
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (15716)

On 02/09/2012 at 11:42am - health - by SocialAnxietyNightmare (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31206) - you deserved it (5023)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17094) - you deserved it (50271)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML

#18554140
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11714) - you deserved it (29257)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm - work - by Bob smith (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML

#18439868
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (4980)

On 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML

#18406735
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43251) - you deserved it (3242)

On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31377) - you deserved it (3279)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

#18334722
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28293) - you deserved it (3700)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:35am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45037) - you deserved it (7017)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34330) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12535) - you deserved it (56872)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

#18229715
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (4103)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML

#18225132
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27621) - you deserved it (9407)

On 11/12/2011 at 1:43am - misc - by friedchicken - Canada (British Columbia)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: