This member hasn't filled in their description.
aliaskis's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
aliaskis's favorite FMLs
by lala8940 / 06/28/2012 at 1:20am / United States / Animals
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous
by SocialAnxietyNightmare / 02/09/2012 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (London) / Health
by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, I noticed that my facial hair had grown by an acceptable amount. I spoke to my Dad and decided to show him, thinking he would approve of my manliness. His exact words when I showed him were, "Nah, son. You just look like a lesbian." FML
by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:16pm / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Miscellaneous
by unknown52 / 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Health
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/24/2011 at 5:35am / United Kingdom / Work
by Faithful / 11/24/2011 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy
Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML
by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
by Margo / 11/15/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML
by Username / 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML
by friedchicken / 11/12/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing… Today, my intoxicated husband asked my very conservative parents how their sex life is now that all… Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since…