alfakennybody

Search for a member

alfakennybody

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 552
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

alfakennybody's page activity

Visits<b>konan__</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:27pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:23am<b>mikeytitsht</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 3:10am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 4:28pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 10:48am<b>lefartface</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 7:49pm<b>Baller_Bob</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:58am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 12:29am<b>Narttu</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 8:08am<b>mintyowlgirl</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 8:00pm<b>bananaguru123</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 7:24pm<b>Biggie_b00</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 12:30am<b>btwnodanz</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:21pm<b>coopmac</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 3:11pm<b>ecadog4412</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 3:07pm<b>ignorant4life</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:55am<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 12:33am

alfakennybody's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of alfakennybody's badges

alfakennybody's favorite FMLs

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

by Anonymous / 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm / Switzerland / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

by fUcKOAHdSAjl / 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

by psychic parents, how do they work? :( / 07/31/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

by the_lonely_life / 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

by my_only_friend / 06/03/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

by Candycane88 / 03/26/2013 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML

by BaliTheDog / 03/24/2013 at 7:01pm / France / Animals

Today, a small fly flew straight up into my nose. I spent 10 minutes trying to blow/scratch/pick it out to no avail. I can still feel it moving. FML

by WTFLY / 03/23/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 2-year-old daughter and my 27-year-old husband both woke me up in the early hours of the morning. Their complaints were the same: they'd both wet the bed. FML

by sickness and health my sphincter / 03/22/2013 at 5:53pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm / Italy (Calabria) / Health