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alexkms

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alexkms
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 June 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 3260
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alexkms's favorite FMLs

Today, while teaching my kindergarten class, I had a feeling I was starting my period again. A boy in the class asked me what a period was. Stressing over my own, I briefly told him it's a woman's time of the month when they have mood swings. He was asking about the dot at the end of a sentence. FML

#880464 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (26886)

On 04/09/2009 at 12:53am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then walked into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poking his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML

#878433 (752)

I agree, your life sucks (29957) - you deserved it (213772)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:14pm - intimacy - by hammylove (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at lunch I was running to my group's table with my friend. She accidentally tripped me, and I slid across the café floor face first on my belly. The whole cafeteria was silent. They then broke out in hysterics when the head janitor ran up to me and yelled 'SAFE!' like a baseball umpire. FML

#877965 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (55069) - you deserved it (8314)

On 04/08/2009 at 9:42pm - misc - by eun (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (58080) - you deserved it (3440)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while showering, my 3 year old son comes to the bathroom and puts on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterward, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML

#807564 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (29855) - you deserved it (62961)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:10pm - kids - by heytherexo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

#800425 (338)

I agree, your life sucks (191350) - you deserved it (9762)

On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025 (169)

I agree, your life sucks (57539) - you deserved it (12315)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I left the iron and ironing board in my room. While I was at school, my mom decided to do some ironing, and did it in my room for convenience. The iron needed water, so she took a water bottle from my dresser and poured it in. It was my secret vodka stash, and the iron caught on fire. FML

#782957 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (16976) - you deserved it (52888)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:13pm - misc - by healey16 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (493)

I agree, your life sucks (170861) - you deserved it (52076)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started applauding and said, "$20 bucks for me! I knew you weren't gay!" Him and my other roommate had a bet. They are my best friends. FML

#722457 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (70330) - you deserved it (6076)

On 03/31/2009 at 11:35am - intimacy - by CBBP (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "hell". FML

#703894 (296)

I agree, your life sucks (127956) - you deserved it (18430)

On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by jdsksoapy (woman) - United States

Today, a 7 year old girl randomly came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML

#696283 (546)

I agree, your life sucks (162648) - you deserved it (14999)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML

#650429 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (99062) - you deserved it (17416)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

#620821 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (96797) - you deserved it (6195)

On 03/26/2009 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML

#616637 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (7846) - you deserved it (80842)

On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)



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