alexissblakee

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alexissblakee

44Fucked!

alexissblakeealexissblakee
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 November 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1636
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

About alexissblakee : sc:alexisssblakee
instagram: alexissblakee

alexissblakee's page activity

Visits<b>pred8885</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 5:11pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 8:19am<b>RaNdOmIzEd2017</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 4:38am<b>four0seven</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 2:49am<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 6:57pm<b>notmedo</b> - the 11/12/2016 at 2:33pm<b>cmchappy</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 8:16am<b>_kristaaxo</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 3:38am<b>chickypie1987</b> - the 09/07/2016 at 1:54pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 4:26am<b>mikethekid</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:38am<b>faz_mughal</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 11:29pm<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 10:11pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 7:59am<b>jamesc096</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 11:05am<b>gerrittd</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 10:37pm<b>ThePaperDragon</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Diamond_don</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 10:09am

Fucked!<b>man_in_black08</b> - the 07/19/2016 at 2:01am<b>gerrittd</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 4:37am<b>tweak2011</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 4:20pm<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 1:40pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 11:00am<b>Camo23</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 3:07pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 7:58am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 4:38am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 4:35pm<b>mellem16</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:20am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:07am<b>tiredofwaiting</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 12:34am<b>jaybird2</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 9:30pm<b>welchie155</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 8:07pm<b>elohnah</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 4:03pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 3:04am<b>noelperez1791</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 6:46am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 07/17/2015 at 4:36am

alexissblakee's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of alexissblakee's badges

alexissblakee's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

by wish.was.single / 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML

by Vitriol / 01/15/2012 at 1:14pm / France / Love

Today, my roommates thought I wasn't home and started talking about me. Apparently I'm a lesbian, devil worshiper, and an alcoholic. I didn't know my life was so fascinating. FML

by FroggyGirl888 / 10/11/2011 at 11:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was a hickey from my boyfriend. FML

by hickhick / 10/17/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

by Username / 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm / Kids

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

by mc_dreamy / 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML

by Cheese4men / 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

by CrappyValentine / 02/14/2010 at 1:56pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, my 8 year-old niece and I were arguing over how many letters were in the alphabet. Guess who was right. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me he likes having sex during my period because it makes him feel like he stabbed a small animal to death. FML

by Michelle / 12/27/2009 at 2:13am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my son's teacher told me that I should take my son to the doctor, because he has been complaining of bad headaches. They ran some tests, and then removed a peanut that's apparently been lodged in his nose for months. FML

by CarolinaD / 10/23/2009 at 10:06am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2009 at 12:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I learned that even when you put a sock on the door because you are having sex with your boyfriend, doesn't mean your mom won't walk in your brand new apartment for a "surprise visit." FML

by Alwayshappens2me / 07/17/2009 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy