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alexiiiis09

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alexiiiis09
  • Town/Country : under your bed o.0, somewhere in your closet
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 February 1996 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1544
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About alexiiiis09 : I love FML :) basically my life story right here...

alexiiiis09's last visitors

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alexiiiis09's FML badges

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alexiiiis09's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

#17670643
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32999) - you deserved it (4977)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28802) - you deserved it (3910)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28802) - you deserved it (3910)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

#17661363
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (3849)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States

Today, I was digging in the backyard when my mom came out, nodded her head approvingly, and with a straight face told me it was good practice for when I inevitably go to prison. FML

#17661363
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (3849)

On 09/04/2011 at 1:05pm - work - by mike - United States

Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML

#17652059
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25420) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

#17649393
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (2182)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32010) - you deserved it (4154)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

#17453333
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33946) - you deserved it (3056)

On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8857) - you deserved it (28248)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

#17026908
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8720) - you deserved it (39275)

On 07/08/2011 at 10:57am - misc - by jen - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (3534)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32132) - you deserved it (9320)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I ran over a chipmunk. On my bike. Its mangled carcass got caught in the spokes and decided to join me on my ride. FML

#16637364
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25328) - you deserved it (10830)

On 06/13/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by cycler - United States

Today, I was complimented on my hat by two different people. I wasn't wearing a hat. FML

#16477433
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24886) - you deserved it (5674)

On 06/03/2011 at 12:21am - misc - by AndieApocalypse - United States



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