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alexiiiis09

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alexiiiis09
  • Town/Country : under your bed o.0, somewhere in your closet
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 February 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1027
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About alexiiiis09 : I love FML :) basically my life story right here...

alexiiiis09's last visitors

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alexiiiis09's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (5857)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15386) - you deserved it (7234)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, my social-awkwardness is so bad, I was actually proud of myself for managing to ask someone a question. FML

#18244071
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (3880)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by ish0rty - United States

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12521) - you deserved it (21289)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24681) - you deserved it (10781)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML

#18123545
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23621) - you deserved it (2181)

On 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
592 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50264) - you deserved it (3493)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML

#18095977
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21760) - you deserved it (4377)

On 10/28/2011 at 11:52am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while I was at work at a nursing home I was attempting to dress a woman for bed. She popped me a left hook and I had to ask the nurse to look at my jaw. After my nurse said I was okay she asked me to continue getting the woman dressed for bed. She hit me 5 more times. FML

#18094107
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17035) - you deserved it (1509)

On 10/28/2011 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I convinced my best friend to talk to the guy I like at work to find out if he was interested in me. She came back ten minutes later, and told me he said he'd never be able to date me. Apparently, kissing me "would be like making out with Mother Teresa's corpse." FML

#18084228
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20978) - you deserved it (2841)

On 10/26/2011 at 9:38pm - love - by nekogirl15 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
421 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (32234)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML

#18030878
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26031) - you deserved it (4485)

On 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Meath)

Today, this weird girl started texting me. I really didn't want to talk to her, so I texted back, "This message could not be delivered because of a temporery network setup error. Error 2128-226110." She replied, "You spelt temporary wrong." FML

#18026685
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8113) - you deserved it (43269)

On 10/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by tommyboy783 - United States (Wisconsin)



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