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alexiiiiis09

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alexiiiiis09

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  • Number of visits : 2755
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alexiiiiis09's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

#17615072
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34713) - you deserved it (3372)

On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML

#17610443
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36900) - you deserved it (3365)

On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31361) - you deserved it (5439)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got suspended for bringing a "hazardous weapon" to school. They were earrings. FML

#17584476
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30081) - you deserved it (3208)

On 08/26/2011 at 8:03am - misc - by christine brown - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

#17578977
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35824) - you deserved it (2578)

On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37266) - you deserved it (3279)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

#17512926
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26477) - you deserved it (7517)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by BigmouthStrikesAgain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37724) - you deserved it (3004)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38303) - you deserved it (2799)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36841) - you deserved it (2810)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36841) - you deserved it (2810)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (65707)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (3409)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom was convinced that the lawn gnomes we bought from Wal-Mart were secretly conspiring to kill us. FML

#17487537
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28570) - you deserved it (3409)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Stevie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36830) - you deserved it (3460)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States



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