alexandrialala

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alexandrialala

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 24 June 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 716
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alexandrialala : My name is Alexandria, and I like the Internet.

alexandrialala's page activity

Visits<b>bheaze</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 4:01am<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 10:55pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 6:50pm<b>marulicko</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 8:14pm<b>letsXstartXaXrio</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 4:27pm<b>Emberitie</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 4:25pm<b>CherryPresident</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 5:24pm<b>BTF989</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 8:14pm<b>Lunasis</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 4:51am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/16/2013 at 2:30am<b>CountEjacula</b> - the 02/15/2013 at 4:45pm<b>cass1_l0ve</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 8:23pm<b>keepkeep</b> - the 02/08/2013 at 11:21am<b>GabrielleFrance</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 1:34pm<b>daniel_dd31</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 7:56pm<b>Kidkaplan</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 3:59pm<b>SelenaMilkshake</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 9:27am<b>eaglerob</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 12:04am

alexandrialala's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of alexandrialala's badges

alexandrialala's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML

by melas303 / 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm / United States / Love

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2012 at 2:50pm / Spain (Canarias) / Animals

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:33am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

by bloodyfreakinawful / 12/14/2012 at 1:40am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2012 at 1:56am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

by holyshitbatman / 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

by SFra / 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm / United States / Love

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! / 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm / United States (California) / Money

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

by nicedoggy / 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

by Bratty son / 10/23/2012 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

by bunintheoven / 10/23/2012 at 12:21am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML

by marriedtoacunt / 10/19/2012 at 2:27pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

by Jessica / 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm / United States / Kids

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 6:15am / Australia / Love