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Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15985) - you deserved it (8166)
On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while at work, a man came in wearing a very elaborate cowboy ensemble and went to talk to one of my coworkers. Once he left, I asked her how she knew a gay cowboy. She then explained that he's actually a farmer and her husband of ten years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4379) - you deserved it (22964)
On 03/13/2010 at 2:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (2762)
On 03/10/2010 at 11:08am - love - by sliceddice (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)
Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (4519)
On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17232) - you deserved it (2912)
On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my wife of four years confessed to me that she only married me for the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23511) - you deserved it (2301)
On 03/05/2010 at 8:05pm - money - by mrrichkid - United States (Illinois)
Today, while in bed, my nose became runny. Being as tired as I was, I decided to ignore it until the morning. Turns out it was a nose bleed, and my pillowcase is ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6538) - you deserved it (17088)
On 03/05/2010 at 1:31pm - misc - by RustyGuy (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36371) - you deserved it (7454)
On 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (3899)
On 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm - health - by Skimilk (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I received my first Valentine's day present ever: a dead mouse from my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16122) - you deserved it (2458)
On 02/14/2010 at 8:24am - animals - by lex31 - United States
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (2297)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54608) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51083) - you deserved it (2550)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50639) - you deserved it (9074)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30583) - you deserved it (271184)
On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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