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Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (3419)
On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60036) - you deserved it (5176)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17854) - you deserved it (9870)
On 01/06/2011 at 12:57am - intimacy - by babysitter (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24475) - you deserved it (6718)
On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20881) - you deserved it (14985)
On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend telling me to be romantic, I decided to make a romantic bath for us, complete with oil bath beads. After we get ready to take the bath, she puts her hand in the water and says she won't get it because 'it feels slimy'. I enjoyed a romantic bath alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21601) - you deserved it (3065)
On 11/25/2010 at 7:55pm - love - by TheCrackerNinja - United States (Texas)
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (3513)
On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13224) - you deserved it (24876)
On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my 5 year old son and I went out. As I was looking in the window display of a shop, I turned around to witness my son pooping in an open manhole on the street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (7826)
On 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. Next thing I know, he farts loudly, then proudly looks my way. I stared back in shock. He says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49252) - you deserved it (9965)
On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300 pound man walked out, shook his head, and said "I'm sorry" to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (2392)
On 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by mr_p - United States (Illinois)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22894) - you deserved it (6145)
On 10/30/2010 at 9:40am - love - by serendipity1027 - Sent from mobile version
Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19364) - you deserved it (848)
On 10/27/2010 at 6:04am - misc - by Sean - United States (Florida)
Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (2660)
On 10/20/2010 at 2:08pm - work - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28963) - you deserved it (16289)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Monday 17 June 2013
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