About alex1432 : auto mechanic
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alex1432's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by babysitter / 01/06/2011 at 12:57am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
by Anonymous / 01/04/2011 at 4:01am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by caligirl921 / 12/11/2010 at 1:00am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend telling me to be romantic, I decided to make a romantic bath for us, complete with oil bath beads. After we get ready to take the bath, she puts her hand in the water and says she won't get it because 'it feels slimy'. I enjoyed a romantic bath alone. FML
by TheCrackerNinja / 11/25/2010 at 7:55pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
by sweet_stufz / 11/11/2010 at 8:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 7:54pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML
by flying13 / 11/03/2010 at 3:27am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by mr_p / 11/01/2010 at 3:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
by Sean / 10/27/2010 at 6:04am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy
Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 11:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, some wonderful human being stole my Amazon package from my porch. Unless they're trying to… Today, both of my parents made me teach them how to use snapchat. I later found out they were using… Today I had to pick up my son from soccer practice. I saw my son from my car, so I said "Get in the…