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Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55039) - you deserved it (6663)
On 07/23/2011 at 9:06am - intimacy - by Sarah - United States
Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (4819)
On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after being laid off for over a year, I got turned down for an unpaid internship. I can't even get people to let me work for free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23995) - you deserved it (2298)
On 06/08/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw a hot guy at the laundromat. Wanting an excuse to talk to him, I tossed a pair of my red underwear into his washer. What I didn't realize was that he was washing his whites. Thanks to me, he now has an entire load of pink shirts and boxers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6017) - you deserved it (53901)
On 05/27/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by nicole - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32149) - you deserved it (9443)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. He parked his truck and reached in his door side pocket and grabbed a little black zippered bag. Seeing this, I burst out laughing saying, "Wow, what's that, your change purse?" He replied, "No, I'm diabetic, this is my blood sugar monitor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7927) - you deserved it (62000)
On 05/04/2011 at 1:33am - love - by Cuppycake (woman) - Canada
Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19712) - you deserved it (39520)
On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16140) - you deserved it (51435)
On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said: "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (3855)
On 04/06/2011 at 7:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (5047)
On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (3712)
On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25736) - you deserved it (3712)
On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -
Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal, my son had pooped in the school yard then gave the teacher a ziploc bag and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30470) - you deserved it (4416)
On 03/15/2011 at 10:05pm - kids - by anonymous -
Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27184) - you deserved it (3854)
On 03/06/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (14099) - you deserved it (66966)
On 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm - intimacy - by Anon. (man) - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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