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alelcu

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alelcu

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 192
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alelcu's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:25pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:49pm

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alelcu's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12961) - you deserved it (25244)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (6671)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54) - you deserved it (18)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18771) - you deserved it (35634)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML

#21351489
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28800) - you deserved it (3397)

On 02/07/2015 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my five year old sister won't stop saying, "shit buckle fuckle ton." My boyfriend's excuse was that he was teaching her how to rhyme. FML

#21303585
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26851) - you deserved it (2943)

On 11/21/2014 at 10:29pm - kids - by angkal2002 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my new boyfriend's house for the first time. When I woke up in the morning, he told me all about how much gas I'd had through the night. He said he thought he had a grown man in his bed instead of me. FML

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (2619)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32346) - you deserved it (3380)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML

#21279866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39639) - you deserved it (5563)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37993) - you deserved it (5950)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26608) - you deserved it (53229)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31821) - you deserved it (18283)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML



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