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alelcu

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alelcu

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 273
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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alelcu's page activity

Visits<b>Welshite</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 4:25pm<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:49pm

alelcu's FML badges

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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alelcu's favorite FMLs

Today, my District Manager was impressed by all the appointments in my upcoming calendar. Bubbling with pride, I blurted out "Oh, I just love to have all my slots filled!" The awkward silence was only broken by "That's what she said!" from the next cubicle. FML

#21420435
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (4897)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:59pm - work - by officeditz - United States (Florida)

Today, I got engaged. When I called my father, who is out of state for a few days, to tell him, his response was, "What'd you do that for?" FML

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25089) - you deserved it (7097)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21683) - you deserved it (10489)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML

#21406510
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28897) - you deserved it (2638)

On 05/07/2015 at 11:23pm - animals - by MyNameIsNotJeff (man) - United States

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML

#21406331
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (24378)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm - money - by NevertheKool (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was supposed to light candles at my aunt's wedding. I accidentally lit the groom on fire. FML

#21402824
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (5558)

On 05/01/2015 at 9:41am - misc - by why? - United States

Today, my mom announced my pregnancy to the entire family via Facebook with the post, "Just went from a MILF to a GILF in one moment of unprotected sex." FML

#21401833
102 comments

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14026) - you deserved it (26967)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (6884)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134) - you deserved it (30)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (35673)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML

#21351489
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29497) - you deserved it (3671)

On 02/07/2015 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32142) - you deserved it (4049)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)



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