alawdog

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alawdog

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 January 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1751
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About alawdog : I love to laugh!

alawdog's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:27pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:27am<b>_SexyLexi_</b> - the 07/04/2010 at 8:41pm<b>Spope1999</b> - the 10/13/2009 at 9:50pm<b>angel1495</b> - the 10/06/2009 at 2:29pm<b>Redneck325Ci</b> - the 10/03/2009 at 7:02am<b>brightlights</b> - the 09/25/2009 at 10:36pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 2:58am<b>littlegolferboy</b> - the 09/18/2009 at 4:03pm<b>cerebellum</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 8:30pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/17/2009 at 4:38pm

alawdog's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

alawdog's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML

by interviewed / 09/16/2009 at 6:37am / United States / Work

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2009 at 1:19am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend, her grandma, and I were leaving her house to eat lunch. I stubbed my toe on the door while exiting. It hurt, so I stood there shortly in pain. I heard my girlfriend's grandma call me a "pansy". I later saw blood and took off my shoe. My whole toenail had come off of my big toe. FML

by HotCurry / 09/05/2009 at 12:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

by spideypowers / 09/05/2009 at 12:06am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, was a nice day, so I opened the sunroof and all the windows in my car. My hair started flying around and at one point it went out the sunroof. My friends thought it would be funny to close my hair in the sunroof. They laughed until they couldn't open it up again. It short-circuited. FML

by badhairday / 09/04/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML

by bubblezzz123 / 09/04/2009 at 2:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was awakened by the sound of chain-saws. Moments later a tree branch came through my roof. FML

by 1ndustrytx / 09/04/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

by treegirl / 07/26/2009 at 1:57am / United States / Love

Today, I was home alone in the shower when in the opening of the curtain, I could see a man in a ski mask. I passed out, hit my head on the tub. I then found out it was my dad pulling a prank on me. I almost died cause my dad wanted to see me scream like a girl. FML

by dfan13 / 07/01/2009 at 12:31pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

by Shaun / 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

by thelarkscaw / 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the cafeteria of my school with my boyfriend and he dumped me. I was kinda expecting it. What I wasn't expecting was that he'd start running in front of everyone, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEDOM!" at the top of his lungs and that he'd kiss the first girl he saw. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2009 at 2:39am / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, to amuse my girlfriend I put on her sexy nightshirt and go out on the balcony for a smoke, wriggling about in front of her window. She laughs until one of her neighbors shouts "HELLO!" from the upper floor, grinning at the show. FML

by gabess / 01/03/2009 at 8:59pm / Miscellaneous