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akvandervort

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akvandervort
  • Town/Country : Monticompton, US of A
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 July 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 3812
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About akvandervort : Howdy

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akvandervort's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15138) - you deserved it (40690)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26407) - you deserved it (4071)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I learned that the four girls who I assumed were my girlfriends' good friends and whom she was always talking about were actually characters from the television show, "Sex and the City." My girlfriend has fictional friends. FML

#3980523
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46918) - you deserved it (5601)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:16pm - love - by tubedout (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

#3958127
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6601) - you deserved it (43583)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:15pm - work - by shayes9 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has know for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

#3891505
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44884) - you deserved it (2090)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (17155)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10182) - you deserved it (59721)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16338) - you deserved it (53511)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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