Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

akvandervort

Online | Search for a member

akvandervort

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 July 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4044
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About akvandervort : Howdy

akvandervort's page activity

Visits<b>xKG33x</b> - yesterday at 9:34pm<b>DR_TYRANOSAURUS</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:36am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:56am<b>rawr0720</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:44pm<b>johobus28</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:04am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:47am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 9:56pm<b>jv622rg</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:38am<b>Mons</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 10:12am<b>hullarms</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 2:44am<b>Grumpy_Giraffati</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 11:18pm<b>Shbang</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 9:46pm<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:54am<b>mrlawlor7777</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 1:46am<b>crackajak</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 4:34am<b>xPaladin</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 4:38pm<b>Zarniclopsindorf</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:46pm<b>jjmack34</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:48am

Fucked!<b>rawr0720</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:33pm

akvandervort's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of akvandervort's badges

akvandervort's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17967) - you deserved it (45958)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29639) - you deserved it (4390)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I learned that the four girls who I assumed were my girlfriends' good friends and whom she was always talking about were actually characters from the television show, "Sex and the City." My girlfriend has fictional friends. FML

#3980523
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51531) - you deserved it (6081)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:16pm - love - by tubedout (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

#3958127
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8583) - you deserved it (49547)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:15pm - work - by shayes9 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

#3891505
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51826) - you deserved it (2630)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45705) - you deserved it (18610)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12581) - you deserved it (66513)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19368) - you deserved it (58761)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: