Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

akvandervort

Online | Search for a member

akvandervort

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 July 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4086
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About akvandervort : Howdy

akvandervort's page activity

Visits<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:46pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:58am<b>Patriots21</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 1:49pm<b>vicky18</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:10am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:57pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 3:27am<b>mcduckens</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:01am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 11:33pm<b>hutch12</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 4:43am<b>9Ja4cOb</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 2:20am<b>pokysmalls</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 7:47pm<b>xKG33x</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 9:34pm<b>DR_TYRANOSAURUS</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 1:36am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:56am<b>rawr0720</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 2:44pm<b>johobus28</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:04am<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 2:47am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 9:56pm

Fucked!<b>rawr0720</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:33pm

akvandervort's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of akvandervort's badges

akvandervort's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18692) - you deserved it (47446)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31891) - you deserved it (4602)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I learned that the four girls who I assumed were my girlfriends' good friends and whom she was always talking about were actually characters from the television show, "Sex and the City." My girlfriend has fictional friends. FML

#3980523
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52524) - you deserved it (6177)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:16pm - love - by tubedout (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

#3958127
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9172) - you deserved it (51288)

On 07/22/2009 at 6:15pm - work - by shayes9 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

#3891505
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52860) - you deserved it (2706)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

#3890479
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46881) - you deserved it (18871)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm - love - by DanceOnTheEdge (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

#3555037
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12963) - you deserved it (67610)

On 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

#3058885
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19992) - you deserved it (59831)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: