akvandervort

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akvandervort

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 July 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4160
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About akvandervort : Howdy

akvandervort's page activity

Visits<b>darkniss</b> - the 06/11/2016 at 5:53pm<b>Boxer3421</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 10:47am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 5:45pm<b>BigBootyButch</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 9:10pm<b>thomas5915</b> - the 03/30/2016 at 8:36pm<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:56pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 1:16pm<b>Mons</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 12:13am<b>A07</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 9:55pm<b>bigwell</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 5:31pm<b>matthew710</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 2:38pm<b>alexwagner21</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 7:46pm<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 2:58am<b>Patriots21</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 1:49pm<b>vicky18</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:10am<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:57pm<b>superuser1234</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 3:27am<b>mcduckens</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 11:01am

Fucked!<b>rawr0720</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 6:33pm

akvandervort's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of akvandervort's badges

akvandervort's favorite FMLs

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that the four girls who I assumed were my girlfriends' good friends and whom she was always talking about were actually characters from the television show, "Sex and the City." My girlfriend has fictional friends. FML

by tubedout / 07/23/2009 at 3:16pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, the boss returned from vacation. While he was gone we thought it would be a great idea to fill the water cooler with margaritas. Even after rinsing it we still have lime flavored water. Needless to say we got a company memo about appropriate office behavior. FML

by shayes9 / 07/22/2009 at 6:15pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has known for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

by whitechocolate / 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

by DanceOnTheEdge / 07/19/2009 at 9:23pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I hit a horrible tee shot from the 18th hole. I decided to use my driver to take my frustration out on a nearby bush. The bees who lived in that bush decided to use their stingers to take out their frustration up inside my golf shorts. FML

by Jon / 07/07/2009 at 2:19pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I were having sex in the shower while our 5-year old was sleeping. Apparently, she wasn't sleeping and she asked me what those loud noises were. I told her I was singing. Now I can't get her to stop "singing" in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy