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akragra's favorite FMLs
Today, I called my phone company to get some answers about my phone bill. I was okay with being put on hold. In fact, I was on hold for so long, that the music stopped playing. When someone finally answered they told me to call back tomorrow. All my phones disconnected an hour later. FML
by Broguy / 07/05/2011 at 10:20pm / Canada / Money
by davidthegreat / 07/05/2011 at 4:27am / Japan / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML
by anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 12:32am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy
Today, I was jamming out in my car, tapping my fingers on the wheel and bobbing my head. At the next stoplight, I happened to look over and the passenger of the car next to me was holding a sign in the window saying, "I bet you don't have a boyfriend, do you?" FML
by brittbrat4 / 07/04/2011 at 8:25pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by K3you / 07/04/2011 at 7:42pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/04/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Bekah / 07/04/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML
by Gustav Fjorder / 07/04/2011 at 3:27am / Switzerland / Miscellaneous
by wastedbaby / 07/03/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (South Carolina) / Health
by beablue18 / 07/03/2011 at 8:27pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss fired me for dating a co-worker. There's no policy forbidding it; he just thought it was unfair that I could get with the "hottest girl who works here" but he can't. I live in an at-will employment state. FML
by Anonymous / 07/03/2011 at 12:21pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work
by fmylife7721 / 07/03/2011 at 1:51am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by T-Guy / 07/02/2011 at 11:01pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by thanksfyi / 07/02/2011 at 5:51pm / Norway / Love
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
by Kamburgler / 07/02/2011 at 2:33am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She gave me back the brand new box of 12 condoms that I had… Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible… Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked…