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akerwin10's FML badges
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akerwin10's favorite FMLs
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
by maturity / 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm / Malaysia (Selangor) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
by anne / 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
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- Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…