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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ajthemistress

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ajthemistress
  • Town/Country : Detroit
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 1 December 1985 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 831
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ajthemistress's favorite FMLs

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523 (252)

I agree, your life sucks (6969) - you deserved it (3483)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

#18811404 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (8605) - you deserved it (2085)

On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (30800) - you deserved it (28060)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML

#18716901 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (11234) - you deserved it (1342) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm - animals - by Fat_abott - France

Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML

#18044835 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (4106) - you deserved it (16982)

On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home to find my house destroyed. I was so devastated, I cried. I had spent days hand-crafting the house to perfection, down to the finest detail. On Minecraft. FML

#17461344 (451)

I agree, your life sucks (9574) - you deserved it (27736)

On 08/13/2011 at 4:22pm - misc - by ifailsobadly (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML

#14312521 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (5305) - you deserved it (20522)

On 12/23/2010 at 3:39pm - misc - by wench (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my toddler stood up in the shopping cart and fell giving himself a black eye. Later while at a restaurant he tried to stand up in his highchair. I quickly blurted out "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. Now the waiter wont stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (29754) - you deserved it (7069)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML

#14187537 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (70265) - you deserved it (3218)

On 12/13/2010 at 4:16am - health - by Christopher - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got mugged. After taking my cell phone, the guy politely said: "Thanks. Have a nice evening. Be careful on your way home." FML

#14119130 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (1859)

On 12/07/2010 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I ate lunch alone. None of my colleagues saved me a seat. One of those colleagues was my husband. He didn't even have the decency to move so that I wouldn't have to eat alone. FML

#14117302 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (26355) - you deserved it (2834)

On 12/07/2010 at 6:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a random guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

#14109722 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (6173)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML

#14104065 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (28012) - you deserved it (1453)

On 12/06/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by kenz - United States

Today, my five year old son was sick with a stomach bug. He didn't want to leave my side so I decided to grab a bowl from the kitchen for him to puke into. The thing is, it was dark in the kitchen and I accidentally grabbed a strainer. My new outfit is now ruined. FML

#14103046 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (7818) - you deserved it (18595)

On 12/06/2010 at 1:17am - kids - by Hunter -

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

#14095720 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (22777) - you deserved it (1931)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:25pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Singapore