Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ajruok

Search for a member

ajruok

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 August 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 495
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About ajruok : Idk...my comments aren't even funny why are you here

ajruok's page activity

Visits<b>CatieBuggy</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:14pm<b>Effulgence</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:18am<b>deutschland129</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:23pm<b>TheMrJoee</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 4:54pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:08pm<b>fmlgiraffe</b> - the 05/18/2014 at 7:39pm<b>miss_tic</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:03pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 3:18pm<b>jff1998</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 3:36am<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:04am<b>forchane</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 8:39pm<b>xxblmpknxx</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 4:42pm<b>narkill</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 2:05pm<b>No_tag</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 1:47pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 2:50pm<b>Matthew86</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 12:07am<b>raggedyguide4</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 7:23pm<b>wrinklytesticle</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 1:10pm

ajruok's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of ajruok's badges

ajruok's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45900) - you deserved it (4865)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21626) - you deserved it (81514)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48788) - you deserved it (6380)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48003) - you deserved it (23088)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

#20783255
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50901) - you deserved it (6473)

On 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49859) - you deserved it (5739)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

#20687932
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53861) - you deserved it (3714)

On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

#20640901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50128) - you deserved it (7077)

On 05/04/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by emasculated 10000% (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32742) - you deserved it (112098)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60228) - you deserved it (6936)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51396) - you deserved it (7015)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "douche bag" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

#17966458
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11764) - you deserved it (41661)

On 10/12/2011 at 8:37am - kids - by John W. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML

#15843459
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36996) - you deserved it (15414)

On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

#2422522
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43512) - you deserved it (8159)

On 05/30/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: