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ajeppsen

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ajeppsen
  • Town/Country : Utah, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3491
  • Number of comments : 179
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About ajeppsen : You're probably visiting me because I pissed you off, I'm sorry. Or maybe because I made a kickass comment, stay tuned for more to come! EIther way your visiting my profile and that makes me happy, I don't get a lot of company, it is lonely here. Message me? I'll respond!

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ajeppsen's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

#20702129
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41611) - you deserved it (5848) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm - health - by Fuperman - France (Lorraine)

Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41444) - you deserved it (6804)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

#20700580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41531) - you deserved it (4192)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by fucker43 - United States (Georgia)

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decided to video tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day and turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49076) - you deserved it (5850)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44071) - you deserved it (5261)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44071) - you deserved it (5261)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59545) - you deserved it (4755)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I uttered the phrase "the pot calling the kettle black" in class. Moments later, I'd been called a "racist twerp" and kicked out of class by the same English teacher who once tried to have another kid suspended for using the word "titillate", because apparently it's "pornographic". FML

#20695090
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45985) - you deserved it (3800)

On 05/30/2013 at 11:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, the doorbell rang. I saw my incredibly overbearing mum's car outside, so I stayed quiet and tried to sneak upstairs. As I crawled through the hallway, commando style, I realised the door blinds were still out for cleaning. If scowls could kill, I'd be roasting in Hell right now. FML

#20694934
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38079) - you deserved it (9524)

On 05/30/2013 at 8:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my landlord emailed me, stating that she hasn't been receiving my rent. After some investigation, I found out she's been using the money to buy booze, and hasn't been putting it into the house owner's account. FML

#20694810
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42763) - you deserved it (2288)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:51am - money - by BrokeAsHell (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38749) - you deserved it (3386)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

#20694473
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50182) - you deserved it (8556)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a few freshmen jumped my fence. They decided to take a dip in the pool, so I pulled out a paintball gun. I unloaded over 100 rounds, painting their backs bright yellow. It also dyed my pool yellow, and it'll apparently cost around $500 to repair. FML

#20691900
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27903) - you deserved it (51372)

On 05/28/2013 at 8:48pm - money - by pool party - United States (Illinois)

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37865) - you deserved it (4390)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while at the movies, I had an uncomfortable amount of gas that I couldn't hold in any longer. I waited for a loud part in the movie to conceal it and took my chance. Problem was, the loud part ended abruptly. I didn't. FML



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