About ajeppsen : You're probably visiting me because I pissed you off, I'm sorry. Or maybe because I made a kickass comment, stay tuned for more to come! EIther way your visiting my profile and that makes me happy, I don't get a lot of company, it is lonely here. Message me? I'll respond!
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
ajeppsen's favorite FMLs
Today, I left hospital after a three-night stay. Whilst waiting for my taxi to arrive, my mother called me in hysterics wanting to know where I was, because the police had called her and told her I had gone missing. Turns out my doctor "forgot" to tell anyone that I was discharged. FML
by Becckzfizz / 06/20/2013 at 10:10am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Health
Today, I won an argument against a sexist co-worker. When I left later on, I jumped into my car to drive home, but managed to reverse it into a parked excavator. Guess who's going to hear virginal jokes about women drivers from now on. FML
by fuck the man-dominated construction business / 06/19/2013 at 12:18pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work
by RoyallyGrossedOut / 06/19/2013 at 3:22am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money
Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML
by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML
by ... / 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Love
by sex deprived / 06/16/2013 at 1:10am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML
by Sovekipisse / 06/15/2013 at 6:24pm / France (Pays de la Loire) / Love
Today, my boss threatened to fire me for showing up at work early. His reasoning is that it looks bad when his workers show up before dawn and work later than he does. He assigned me these hours specifically to accommodate one of our clients. FML
by wtfwhyfml / 06/14/2013 at 3:29pm / United States / Work
Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2013 at 12:24pm / Cyprus (Limassol) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML
by Anon / 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML
by mysea8679 / 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
by unknown / 06/12/2013 at 1:33pm / United States (California) / Health