About ajeppsen : You're probably visiting me because I pissed you off, I'm sorry. Or maybe because I made a kickass comment, stay tuned for more to come! EIther way your visiting my profile and that makes me happy, I don't get a lot of company, it is lonely here. Message me? I'll respond!
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
ajeppsen's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML
by thirdwheel / 07/09/2013 at 7:05am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, my 7-year-old sister had a nightmare, so I let her sleep in my bed. I woke up to her punching me in the face and giving me a black eye. Apparently, she not only screams when she's having a nightmare, she also "gives the bad guy a taste of his own medicine." FML
by good big sister? / 07/02/2013 at 1:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML
by yeshehaspornaddiction / 07/02/2013 at 12:37am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
by patriarchal apparently / 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm / Saint Lucia / Intimacy
by Guntherdog / 06/27/2013 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML
by Kn0wledge123 / 06/26/2013 at 1:27am / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
by mymomplucksbutthair / 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML
by bloodprincess / 06/25/2013 at 1:13pm / United States / Animals
by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids
Today, I took my girlfriend of nearly 2 years out to dinner so I could propose. When the waiter brought the check, I caused a bit of a scene to get everyone's attention. When I got on my knee and proposed, she said no and asked if I could hurry up and pay, because she was embarrassed. FML
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 4:26pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…