Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ajeppsen

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

ajeppsen

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5684
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About ajeppsen : You're probably visiting me because I pissed you off, I'm sorry. Or maybe because I made a kickass comment, stay tuned for more to come! EIther way your visiting my profile and that makes me happy, I don't get a lot of company, it is lonely here. Message me? I'll respond!

ajeppsen's page activity

Visits<b>fjhus16</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:55pm<b>sju91</b> - the 09/22/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:00am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:16pm<b>MissHeartSihk</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:05am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:36am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:22pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:33pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:28pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:11pm<b>IloveToLaugh143</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:14am<b>thegamerorigins</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:40pm<b>therosalina</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:47pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:58am<b>max2732</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:29pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:13pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:50pm<b>deviking</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:59pm

Liked!<b>lovefrog</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:13am

ajeppsen's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of ajeppsen's badges

ajeppsen's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why we've had to replace 3 washing machines this year. My sister thinks that "huge capacity" means "load the washing machine until no more clothes will fit." It blows the motor every time. She's 31. FML

#20806007
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47116) - you deserved it (3745)

On 07/27/2013 at 5:26am - misc - by kilamo80 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59384) - you deserved it (7102)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after a church service, a man approached me as I was walking to my car. He had tears in his eyes and politely asked if I would pray with him. He asked if we could hold hands. As I reached out to hold his hands, the bitch snatched my purse and ran. FML

#20797008
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45218) - you deserved it (7912)

On 07/22/2013 at 3:09am - misc - by HillaryAngelic (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on drive-thru where I work. Our policy is that we can give free treats to dogs that come through. A woman came in and I noticed her dog. Without a thought, I grabbed a treat and asked if her dog wanted one. I looked again. The 'dog' was her daughter. FML

#20792109
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48410) - you deserved it (23854)

On 07/19/2013 at 9:54am - work - by Treats For Days - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62254) - you deserved it (22176)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML

#20786212
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57066) - you deserved it (8079)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm - love - by ronnieG (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while on the airplane, the cute girl next to me and I instantly hit it off. When I excused myself to the bathroom, I must have given her the wrong impression. She wanted to join the mile high club; I just wanted to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58412) - you deserved it (12235)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45200) - you deserved it (5906)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41720) - you deserved it (5326)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55552) - you deserved it (4332)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

#20777070
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46801) - you deserved it (13185)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test came back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62483) - you deserved it (10832)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got lost, and eventually noticed that I'd passed by the same house a few times. Apparently somebody who lives on that street noticed as well, because the next time I passed by, the police were waiting for me. FML

#20776976
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43914) - you deserved it (3917)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML

#20772026
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53023) - you deserved it (4371)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:05am - love - by thirdwheel - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: