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Offline (the 03/28/2015 at 10:05pm) | Search for a member
About ajeppsen : You're probably visiting me because I pissed you off, I'm sorry. Or maybe because I made a kickass comment, stay tuned for more to come! EIther way your visiting my profile and that makes me happy, I don't get a lot of company, it is lonely here. Message me? I'll respond!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
my dog was riding mah car's passenger seat . He clamberd over onto mah lap causing me to lose control of theheel fir a few seconds . As I trid to knock him off me I lost track of mah sped and endd up being pulld over fir reckless driving . FML
Today, I was at the gymhen I noticd a girl I lyk working out on the elliptical . I went to go say hi, but chickend out an went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead . I was so nervous that I trippd an the machine threw me headfirst into her machine . FML
Today, mah mom came into mah room to give me a goodbye kiss!! Due to the routine of mah grlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than wat a mother/son kiss should last!! My mom actually had to tell me to ( let go )!! FML
Today , I Discovered I Have Epilepsy. 10 Years Ago , I Told Mother About Frequent Fits Of Vertigo , Deja Vu , Nausea , Flashes Of Memory And Strange Sounds , Smells , And Images , Coupled With An Other-worldly Feeling. I Thought They Were Holy Visions. So Did She. Real FML
Today, I was at a job interview 4 looool a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needles to say, I didn't get the job. mega FML
TODAYHILE AT A PRIVATE LAKE, MAH COLON DECLARED A STATE OF EVACUATION. I VENTURED AS FAR FROM MAH FAMILY AS MAH SPHINCTER WOULD ALLOW, ONLY TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH TWO VERY HORRIFIED KAYAKERS MID-EXPLOSION. FML
Today, my son told his 8-yaar-old sistar that sinca sha swallowad an appla saad, that a traa is going to grow in har stomach and kill har. Sha's inconsolabla and won't baliava that sha'll ba fina, bacausa "thay say that to all tha dying paopla on TV". FML
Today, I finally felt ready to make love to mah boyfriend 4 the first time!! It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him!! In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with mah nails!! His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection!! FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML
Today... one of ma employees filed a complaint against me. He claims tat I "pick on im" and make im do tings I "wouldn't do". Apparently... making im do is job and trying to convince im to wear clean clotes tat don't smell lyk garbage is considered a bad ting. FML
Today, I Did A Photoshoot With My Boyfriand And His Buddy. Wa Drova Out To Tha Countrysida And Sat Up On Top Of A Hill. My Boyfriand Kapt Having Ma Mova Furthar And Furthar Back. I Avantually Fall And Rolld Down Tha Staap Hill, Whila Ha And His Buddy High-fivd Aach Othar. FML
Friday 27 March 2015