ajeppsen

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Offline (the 03/24/2016 at 7:23pm)

ajeppsen

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17205
  • Number of comments : 187
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About ajeppsen : You're probably visiting me because I pissed you off, I'm sorry. Or maybe because I made a kickass comment, stay tuned for more to come! EIther way your visiting my profile and that makes me happy, I don't get a lot of company, it is lonely here. Message me? I'll respond!

ajeppsen's page activity

Visits<b>Jay0501</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 7:35pm<b>rawrlol91</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 7:01pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 6:22pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 7:46am<b>Jrsmommy2014</b> - the 06/14/2016 at 11:39pm<b>CamBamShamDaMan</b> - the 06/01/2016 at 7:38am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 7:25pm<b>Xquisite1</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 11:38am<b>elizabeth_black</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 10:26am<b>nightwalker52</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 8:30pm<b>lalala96</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:55pm<b>Venister</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:59pm<b>buckstop1</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 11:13am<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:55pm<b>ChaCerCam</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 8:53pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:22am<b>Pike313</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 11:08pm<b>Paulcs</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 10:19pm

Fucked!<b>lalala96</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 5:55am<b>lovefrog</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:13am

ajeppsen's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of ajeppsen's badges

ajeppsen's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

by fUcKOAHdSAjl / 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I was at the gym when I noticed a girl I like working out on the elliptical. I went to go say hi, but chickened out and went to run on the treadmill in front of her instead. I was so nervous that I tripped and the machine threw me headfirst into her machine. FML

by ZeroLuck / 08/15/2013 at 10:32pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

by deadman / 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

by seizure_girl / 08/15/2013 at 9:32am / United States (South Dakota) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

by What. / 08/13/2013 at 8:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Money

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

by ANON / 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

by master baiter / 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, while at a private lake, my colon declared a state of evacuation. I ventured as far from my family as my sphincter would allow, only to make eye contact with two very horrified kayakers mid-explosion. FML

by Oh-Shit! / 08/10/2013 at 11:23am / United States / Health

Today, a man pulled a knife on me just so he could mug me of the cigarette I was smoking. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2013 at 7:29pm / Switzerland / Health

Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them, then asked me to stop wasting her potential grandchildren. FML

by Anonymous / 08/07/2013 at 6:24pm / Egypt / Intimacy

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

by ulisha5 / 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm / Bulgaria (Burgas) / Kids

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

by fuck but no fuck / 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Kids

Today, one of my employees filed a complaint against me. He claims that I "pick on him" and make him do things I "wouldn't do". Apparently, making him do his job and trying to convince him to wear clean clothes that don't smell like garbage is considered a bad thing. FML

by Zatnikatel / 07/31/2013 at 10:15am / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

by -_- / 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous