Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ajeppsen

Offline (yesterday at 10:49am) | Search for a member

ajeppsen

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6002
  • Number of comments : 181
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About ajeppsen : You're probably visiting me because I pissed you off, I'm sorry. Or maybe because I made a kickass comment, stay tuned for more to come! EIther way your visiting my profile and that makes me happy, I don't get a lot of company, it is lonely here. Message me? I'll respond!

ajeppsen's page activity

Visits<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:39pm<b>fjhus16</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:55pm<b>Chelsea_bella</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:00am<b>buckstop1</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 4:16pm<b>MissHeartSihk</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 1:05am<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:36am<b>MichellinMan</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 8:22pm<b>diesel_power</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 7:33pm<b>dillonfi</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:28pm<b>WubStep_</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:11pm<b>IloveToLaugh143</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:14am<b>thegamerorigins</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:40pm<b>therosalina</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 12:47pm<b>expertsmilee</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:58am<b>max2732</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:29pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:13pm<b>LexiDaBae</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:50pm<b>deviking</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:59pm

Liked!<b>lovefrog</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:13am

ajeppsen's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of ajeppsen's badges

ajeppsen's favorite FMLs

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37608) - you deserved it (10267)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I dropped a new 50lb box of tiles. Luckily, none of the tiles broke. I'm assuming this is because my foot cushioned the fall. FML

#20998674
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36919) - you deserved it (3798)

On 12/19/2013 at 11:41pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44259) - you deserved it (19854)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, after making several comments about how I didn't exactly look thin, my boyfriend said, "Well, at least we know you'll look good pregnant." FML

#20954137
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41226) - you deserved it (9393)

On 11/11/2013 at 4:41pm - love - by Cheer4Life (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

#20953867
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45577) - you deserved it (6984)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Thomas - United States (Virginia)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44272) - you deserved it (3342)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML

#20950229
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (19766)

On 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51150) - you deserved it (5311)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML

#20949058
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (7772)

On 11/07/2013 at 1:42pm - misc - by pissedandcomputerless (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

#20891836
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36759) - you deserved it (4394)

On 09/22/2013 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML

#20890231
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38347) - you deserved it (3705)

On 09/21/2013 at 2:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46974) - you deserved it (3147)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

#20872880
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49500) - you deserved it (3169)

On 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my former high school bully became my manager. FML

#20871927
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59687) - you deserved it (3608)

On 09/07/2013 at 7:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: