About ajeppsen : You're probably visiting me because I pissed you off, I'm sorry. Or maybe because I made a kickass comment, stay tuned for more to come! EIther way your visiting my profile and that makes me happy, I don't get a lot of company, it is lonely here. Message me? I'll respond!
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
ajeppsen's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 03/30/2014 at 2:45pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Health
by student101 / 03/25/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Good choice cat / 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was beating the hell out of one of the most useless employees ever. I mean really laying into him, all while telling him for the umpteenth time how to do his job right. Then my husband informed me I was hitting him in my sleep. FML
by management / 02/20/2014 at 9:31pm / United States / Work
Today, I was called by the counselor to discuss my "issues". She told me that other students had reported to her that they saw scars on my arms. I don't cut, I just have a hormonal and aggressive parrot who sees me as his personal tree. FML
by That Girl with the Amazon Parrot / 01/04/2014 at 2:21am / United States / Animals
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2014 at 2:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy
by claubea11 / 01/01/2014 at 12:17am / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
by dantko / 01/01/2014 at 12:04am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Lucie / 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (New York) / Love
by blackcarnation / 12/22/2013 at 4:56pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML
by bleach bleach bleach / 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML
by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 10:36am / United States / Kids
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…