my life...
Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5667) - you totally deserved it (86939)
On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you totally deserved it (2861)
On 06/17/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by visn (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35786) - you totally deserved it (1979)
On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8479) - you totally deserved it (40440)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33053) - you totally deserved it (7874)
On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States
Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35956) - you totally deserved it (2759)
On 06/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by need2eat - United States (California)
Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9258) - you totally deserved it (29813)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34798) - you totally deserved it (1701)
On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I was helping a couple come up with a name for the baby they just had. I suggested "Joshua" thinking that it was an okay name. All sudden, the room got quiet. Turns out I had forgotten that Joshua was the name of their 3 year old son who had died a couple months before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21544) - you totally deserved it (52124)
On 06/11/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by 8reth72 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall, when a homeless man came in mumbling to himself. Out of the 7 available urinals, he posted up at the one right beside me. Apparently he didn't get the memo that urinals aren't used to shit in. He talked to me the entire time. About his love life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45013) - you totally deserved it (1940)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:13pm - misc - by blah (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went out for a smoke break. A homeless person walks up to me and asks for a cig. As I pull out my pack he says "Oh... Menthols... no I don't smoke that cheap shit". I was called cheap by a hobo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40870) - you totally deserved it (10934)
On 04/21/2009 at 8:52am - misc - by Kaboom (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14226) - you totally deserved it (222064)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talked into having sex with my boyfriend of 4 years. I had always wanted to wait till marriage but my boyfriend convinced me otherwise. Once we were done, he said he could never marry me because I was no longer pure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (239810) - you totally deserved it (64310)
On 03/15/2009 at 12:57am - intimacy - by kallieco (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you totally deserved it (175591)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (272018) - you totally deserved it (12376)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
