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aguywithapanda's favorite FMLs
by :( / 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm / Algeria / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML
by Anonymous / 12/11/2013 at 7:51pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by tinypenis / 06/04/2013 at 8:15am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML
by Skyler / 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anon / 03/25/2013 at 2:31pm / United States / Health
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML
by Jessica / 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML
by really / 02/19/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML
by woohoo420 / 04/04/2012 at 12:14pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money
by princev / 06/18/2011 at 6:32am / United States / Health
Today, to make my dorm neighbours think I'm popular, I blasted music and screamed at the top of my lungs so it sounded like I was having a party. My residence manager slapped me with a noise violation, and demanded to come in to make sure we weren't drinking. I had to explain why I was by myself. FML
by freshman / 03/25/2011 at 7:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by sad-sexed / 09/06/2010 at 8:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML
by Busted / 07/26/2010 at 8:26am / South Africa / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/14/2010 at 5:35pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
- Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan.…