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aglick
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  • Number of visits : 475
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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aglick's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom suspected me of doing marijuana. She went and bought a home-drug test and sent me to the bathroom. As I went in, I realized there was already pee in the toilet. I scooped that instead of my own and handed it to my mom. It came up positive. My sister used the bathroom last. She's 12. FML

#569324
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29582) - you deserved it (70916)

On 03/24/2009 at 12:19am - health - by smokythebear (man) - United States

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

#544318
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84526) - you deserved it (6260)

On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

#530298
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (211671) - you deserved it (13456)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (227322) - you deserved it (29242)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

#511174
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115496) - you deserved it (18202)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (103185)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to get my hair chopped off for a role that I'm playing in a show. I was staring at the floor while the woman cut my hair, and I suddenly heard her start crying. Her tears were immediately followed by "It's okay! I have a friend in New York who can fix it. We won't charge you." FML

#267715
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71010) - you deserved it (3007)

On 03/11/2009 at 1:21am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said I was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML

#267398
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57292) - you deserved it (4647)

On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82192) - you deserved it (24200)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, my mother and I went to Wal-Mart to buy pads. I suggested I get tampons instead, so that I can go swimming at my boyfriend's cottage. My mother then goes to the nearest store employee and asks, "excuse me, if my daughter uses a tampon, does that mean she is no longer a virgin?" FML

#251967
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165428) - you deserved it (9195)

On 03/09/2009 at 3:30pm - intimacy - by tamponmayhem (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22177) - you deserved it (121823)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218833) - you deserved it (28163)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (122897) - you deserved it (6382)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13390) - you deserved it (56717)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)



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