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afroman52's favorite FMLs
Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by That_Indian_Guy / 11/15/2014 at 8:25am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I sat my son down for a talk about how he's been too lazy to brush his teeth lately. I said "Son, we need to have a chat about oral hygiene." He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said he already knew to clean "it" before a girl went down on him, and asked if he could go already. FML
by Anonymous / 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by spooked / 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I looked at my twelve-year-old daughter's test. One of the question was, "When is a good time to worry about your parents?" Her answer was, "When they take selfies, because selfies aren't made for old people." FML
by The Selfie Parent / 11/04/2014 at 4:48pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Kids
Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML
by Anonymous / 11/03/2014 at 10:54am / United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset) / Money
by jay-frey96 / 11/02/2014 at 10:36am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by peanutprobs / 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Health
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids
by wow / 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Silbax1 / 10/27/2014 at 11:40am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, let's just say it's not always a good idea to storm into your mum's bedroom after hearing several loud slaps accompanied by yelps. What sounds like domestic violence might just be your mum and step-dad's foreplay. For Christ's sake, I need brain bleach. FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2014 at 5:31pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
- Today, I caught my dad spanking my mom with a spatula. The same spatula I use to cook my eggs every… Today, while I was making love to my wife, she looks up and says, "I'll paint the ceiling white."… Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would…