[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

afrikaaner

Search for a member

afrikaaner
  • Town/Country : Johannesburg, South Africa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 583
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About afrikaaner : I love Ice cream!

afrikaaner's last visitors

Abdul888FreezejosepigoSun_Kissed18Ookami87altnaTwi_lover_ECperdixSexyIslandGirl

afrikaaner's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

afrikaaner's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (24262) - you deserved it (1905)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

#5629622 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (14888) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

#2211360 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (33497) - you deserved it (17798)

On 05/23/2009 at 2:10pm - kids - by nutrigrain123 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167978) - you deserved it (51067)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I developed the disposable camera pictures from my family's trip to Disney World. I noticed that in the pictures I took of them in front of the big castle at Magic Kingdom, my wife and son were standing a few feet away from a man who was touching himself. FML

#688806 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (49437) - you deserved it (2468)

On 03/29/2009 at 8:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

#670430 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (37299) - you deserved it (15123)

On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (523)

I agree, your life sucks (249139) - you deserved it (34309)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047 (1012)

I agree, your life sucks (404658) - you deserved it (241705)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (529)

I agree, your life sucks (141732) - you deserved it (53043)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

02/10/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, the book

Available NOW on:

© 2008-2012 by