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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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afrances

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afrances
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3956
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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afrances's favorite FMLs

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

#2565972 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (37949) - you deserved it (11351)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)

Today, my band went to play a set for the first time. I'm the drummer. All was going well, and then before our first song I threw the sticks in the air, went to catch them, and one hit me right in the eye. I couldn't continue playing. Now I have to wear an eyepatch. FML

#2560457 (294)

I agree, your life sucks (9964) - you deserved it (39317)

On 06/03/2009 at 6:06am - work - by failedmusician (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house late at night. Driving up a hill, I see a deer run across the road. I love deer, so I stared at it as it hopped the fence on the other side. I then felt a huge bump as my car hit the other deer that was behind it. FML

#2558253 (216)

I agree, your life sucks (10661) - you deserved it (30719)

On 06/03/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by magoo37 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML

#2514787 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (22283) - you deserved it (46271)

On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (28141) - you deserved it (46081)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a really big debate in my English Class about the legalization of weed. My group had to state reasons why weed shouldn't be legal and no one except me had prepared. My partner came to class totally stoned. Our group lost the debate. We got a F. FML

#2492585 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (39263) - you deserved it (5246)

On 06/01/2009 at 2:52am - misc - by crazyjohnny - United States (California)

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

#2464637 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (39717) - you deserved it (8550)

On 05/31/2009 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

#2429850 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (44291) - you deserved it (1670)

On 05/30/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by willieboom (man) - United States (Washington)