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Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? I dare you." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10346) - you deserved it (36053)
On 02/13/2011 at 10:25pm - misc - by NotAsToughAsHeThinks (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27095) - you deserved it (2441)
On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17670) - you deserved it (12006)
On 02/12/2011 at 3:05am - misc - by savanna(: - United States (Utah)
Today, while shopping in the baby department at a local department store, a woman approached me asking when I was due. I told her that I was due in 4 months. I lied. I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13026) - you deserved it (21004)
On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - misc - by Liar Liar - United States
Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML
I agree, your life sucks (8437) - you deserved it (32574)
On 02/12/2011 at 1:30am - misc - by courtbabbbby (woman) - United States
Today, I thought it would be fun to drive into a stack of some empty cardboard boxes on my street. They weren't empty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4888) - you deserved it (37539)
On 02/11/2011 at 11:06pm - money - by 2dumb2drive - United States
Today, my Dad thought "Joseph" and "Francis" were two people hacking our internet. They are actually the names of my laptop and iPod, which have now been blocked from using our modem. He can't figure out how to unblock them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12805) - you deserved it (17357)
On 02/11/2011 at 5:59am - misc - by Gem (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, it snowed a lot and my friends and I went outside for a walk. Someone drove by and threw a snowball at me, hitting me square in the face. Surprised, I side-stepped only to end up losing balance and roll down a hill into a ditch full of prickly bushes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21804) - you deserved it (2984)
On 02/10/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by onehitwonder -
Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24299) - you deserved it (2673)
On 02/08/2011 at 11:27am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (8484)
On 02/05/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by UghCats (woman) - United States (Wyoming)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59840) - you deserved it (5172)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15576) - you deserved it (51443)
On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (3032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10370) - you deserved it (15173)
On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29253) - you deserved it (4391)
On 12/30/2010 at 9:09am - intimacy - by georgiahick -
Monday 20 May 2013
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