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Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (1906)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22578) - you deserved it (13003)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (2932)
On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (2095)
On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States
Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18240) - you deserved it (1674)
On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (2326)
On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States
Today, my husband compared me to his parent's dog. Why? Because when I sleep I fart and scare myself awake... Just like his parents dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19809) - you deserved it (7006)
On 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm - animals - by anonomys (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (3158)
Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (7800)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep. He was also completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25124) - you deserved it (2207)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)
Today, I had to utter the phrase "OK, but no cape during sex" to my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23103) - you deserved it (5130)
On 08/19/2011 at 9:40am - intimacy - by nerofirst - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 am because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20467) - you deserved it (2225)
On 08/18/2011 at 6:02am - misc - by boyfriend123 - United States
Today, I spent the entire day in my room trying to figure out how to get rid of my psycho boyfriend without dying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36666) - you deserved it (4742)
On 07/11/2011 at 11:37am - misc - by illenram06 - Philippines (Roxas)
Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21350) - you deserved it (3062)
On 07/11/2011 at 12:23am - kids - by MotherofET (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34426) - you deserved it (4789)
On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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