Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

adultchild

Search for a member

adultchild
  • Town/Country : maple syrup, pancakes
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1483
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About adultchild : Hey I am just a normal gal that likes to read daily mishaps of people to cheer myself up or when I am bored. You are not going to find anything else about me in here so move along

adultchild's last visitors

DMAN80182001YoloXboxSwagolpallyemchocolatPantyGAMESplum_lovinKain713starilechargers2588w_introubleimlifeless2

adultchild's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of adultchild's badges

adultchild's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of tests for mystery nerve pain, I went to get more blood taken only to leave the clinic with an empty tin to collect my bowel movements for the next 72 hours. Which needs to be refrigerated. I live with 4 other people, with one fridge. FML

#20688590
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39864) - you deserved it (2367)

On 05/27/2013 at 1:05am - health - by you're shitting me - Australia

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

#20688489
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54482) - you deserved it (3712)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

#20688373
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45984) - you deserved it (9790)

On 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm - love - by JJLight (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML

#20688045
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39218) - you deserved it (6393)

On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, I borrowed my boyfriend's laptop. Out of curiosity, I clicked through the bookmarks in his web browser. One of them took me to a site dedicated to sex stories featuring characters from My Little Pony. FML

#20687700
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (16226)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by bestiality? do I look like a pig? (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

#20687072
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44247) - you deserved it (7316)

On 05/26/2013 at 10:15am - love - by thenewgirlfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents decided that since summer is almost here, it's a great opportunity to start having nude barbecues. I found this out after walking out into the backyard, hoping to sun myself a little, only to see the living nightmare that is my parents' naked bodies. FML

#20686007
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46786) - you deserved it (4280)

On 05/25/2013 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my friends and I were talking about the creepy stranger that used to stalk me back in high school. I guess his looks changed a lot through the years because I found out that he's my current boyfriend of 4 months. FML

#20683515
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51667) - you deserved it (15674)

On 05/24/2013 at 10:00am - love - by datgirl92 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52044) - you deserved it (4046)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

#20679582
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35542) - you deserved it (9500)

On 05/22/2013 at 10:51am - money - by maarkblack (man) - United States

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35150) - you deserved it (2849)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26073) - you deserved it (37911)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

#20673563
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35253) - you deserved it (3243)

On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38898) - you deserved it (3199)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: