Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

adultchild

Offline (the 08/13/2014 at 11:40pm) | Search for a member

adultchild

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2757
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About adultchild : Hey I am just a normal gal that likes to read daily mishaps of people to cheer myself up or when I am bored. You are not going to find anything else about me in here so move along

adultchild's page activity

Visits<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:41am<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 12:34am<b>Mexico_WC2018</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 8:35am<b>zBLAKEz</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 1:17pm<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 6:33pm<b>GuyNoOneKnows</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 12:20pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/01/2014 at 11:14am<b>decimater</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:29pm<b>thatgirlinoregon</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 5:45pm<b>Hellishowl</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 8:42pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 5:51pm<b>DMAN80182001</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 7:17pm<b>YoloXboxSwag</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 12:25pm<b>olpally</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 11:12am<b>emchocolat</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:12am<b>PantyGAMES</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 6:24am<b>plum_lovin</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 2:19pm<b>Kain713</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 5:16pm

adultchild's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of adultchild's badges

adultchild's favorite FMLs

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

#20849713
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42688) - you deserved it (13754)

On 08/22/2013 at 6:45pm - animals - by violated ._. (woman) - United States

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45081) - you deserved it (10570)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, my spouse asked me if I could transfer some of the passion I have for buffalo wings into our relationship. FML

Today, we were having a family dinner with my boyfriend's parents and mine. In the kitchen, when we were getting the food ready, he proposed. I screamed. My dad thought he was hurting me, came in and tased him in the leg. FML

#20841540
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57651) - you deserved it (6708)

On 08/17/2013 at 10:18am - love - by why - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 17-year-old son came home with a black eye saying he ran into a pole at school. I asked the principal if we could see the tapes. He actually did run straight into a pole. And not just once, twice. FML

Today, while discussing career prospects with my mom, she suggested that I become a penis puppeteer, because "Let's face it, you play with it 24/7. Why not make a career out of it?" Yeah, thanks. FML

#20838688
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35621) - you deserved it (11855)

On 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by kaynotentirelywrong (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

#20834278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42010) - you deserved it (4701)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

#20833743
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28192) - you deserved it (39351)

On 08/12/2013 at 1:11pm - work - by master baiter - United States (New York)

Today, someone told me that my initials really fit my personality. I took it as a strange compliment, until I realized my initials spell "ew". FML

#20832005
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42961) - you deserved it (4120)

On 08/11/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by ew - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59226) - you deserved it (5419)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

#20829503
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36574) - you deserved it (3281)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! (woman) - United States

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43890) - you deserved it (13890)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47995) - you deserved it (3483)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, I've been getting calls for over a week on my home phone, cell phone, and the work phone at my night shift, in which someone whispers terrifying Satanic-sounding chants at me. I've now found out that the caller is my best "friend". His explanation: "You seemed lonely, man." FML

#20820394
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42689) - you deserved it (4229)

On 08/04/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by newbffswelcome (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38240) - you deserved it (6333)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: