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About adri107 : im just plain crazy but fun XD
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my 6 year old daughter saw a man in a wheelchair who's leg had been amputated. She walks up to him and says, "What happened?". He answers kindly that he's a war veteran. She then responds, "Well then you deserve to get your leg blown off. You shouldn't be killing people." FML
I agree, your life sucks (72283) - you deserved it (13845)
On 05/17/2009 at 9:19pm - kids - by embarrassedmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (121993) - you deserved it (29422)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, a little girl came up to me and said "Hi, my name is Lindsey, lets be friends!". I thought she was cute so I played along and said "Okay! My name is Jen!" Her Reply: "Wait, nevermind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38847) - you deserved it (8275)
On 05/17/2009 at 12:33am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54690) - you deserved it (8369)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:40am - love - by vela9002 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (170861) - you deserved it (52076)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115217) - you deserved it (6452)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (88262) - you deserved it (5595)
On 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by Jenny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (99062) - you deserved it (17416)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44077) - you deserved it (5380)
On 03/27/2009 at 11:18am - misc - by Spawn_of_Satan (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I went out with this girl I really liked and she came back to my place. Things were heating up and we ended up having sex and I was on top. I was really into it and in the middle of it she held up her wrist and said "oh, look at the time, I gotta get home". She wasn't wearing a watch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73296) - you deserved it (12016)
On 03/26/2009 at 4:37am - intimacy - by crap (man) - Thailand (Krung Thep)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45390) - you deserved it (372668)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78836) - you deserved it (22628)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was having lunch with my sister and my mother. While my mom was busy ordering food, my sister said to me, "look at this face I can make!" and she grossly contorted her face so that she had a double chin. My mother looked over and said to her, "stop making fun of your sister!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (57092) - you deserved it (3371)
On 03/23/2009 at 3:22pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60313) - you deserved it (5870)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, driving some friends back from a party I said, "Did everyone see Lisa totally hanging off of Pat tonight?! It was hilarious!!". There was a long silence, then one of my friends said "...you know Lisa is in the car, right?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12306) - you deserved it (71631)
On 03/19/2009 at 11:41pm - misc - by StephD (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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