Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

actionjackkk

Search for a member

actionjackkk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 314
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

actionjackkk's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of actionjackkk's badges

actionjackkk's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

#14297992
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38978) - you deserved it (3728)

On 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by screwed (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

#14143329
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33425) - you deserved it (4976)

On 12/09/2010 at 2:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)

Today, after begging for over an hour, I had to pay my sister $20 to wax my back for me so my bra would stop painfully pulling at the hair I repulsively seem to be growing there. FML

#14009282
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28638) - you deserved it (4126)

On 11/28/2010 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

#13615368
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23658) - you deserved it (2627)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by thjeltz - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29746) - you deserved it (8934)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I found out that whenever my best friend used to say she wanted to do my dad, she wasn't kidding. She accomplished her mission in my bed after school. FML

#12851592
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52051) - you deserved it (4068)

On 09/01/2010 at 7:10am - intimacy - by fmlskank93 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

#11841759
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (9672)

On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML

#11076203
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48470) - you deserved it (17264)

On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML

#10975690
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64998) - you deserved it (7990)

On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML

#9096813
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23515) - you deserved it (2265)

On 03/15/2010 at 3:35am - love - by el211 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML

#8733568
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16199) - you deserved it (14389)

On 02/28/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Ben - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10946) - you deserved it (48121)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

#7609495
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29894) - you deserved it (3783)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

#7538814
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24314) - you deserved it (6571)

On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: