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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31654) - you deserved it (7555)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41558) - you deserved it (13499)
On 06/09/2010 at 7:34am - intimacy - by thetalkingvagina (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my best friend kisses me while I sleep. We're both guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56627) - you deserved it (6313)
On 06/04/2010 at 10:03pm - love - by weirdesout - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend ran accidentally head-first into my face and left me with a giant black eye. My mother is convinced I had a seizure in a park somewhere and won't listen when I tell her she's wrong, and everyone else thinks my boyfriend is abusive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17912) - you deserved it (1642)
On 03/15/2010 at 3:35am - love - by el211 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11930) - you deserved it (10326)
On 02/28/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Ben - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35206) - you deserved it (2202)
On 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm - animals - by ughno - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8346) - you deserved it (35855)
On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24217) - you deserved it (2915)
On 01/27/2010 at 9:05am - misc - by samantha (woman) - Singapore
Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18229) - you deserved it (5710)
On 01/24/2010 at 3:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my brother and his friend ambushed me, tied me to a chair, and put a sock in my mouth. My mom found me 10 minutes later, took the sock out, and asked, "Why are you tied to a chair?" I told her what happened. She looked at me, laughed, stuffed the sock back in my mouth, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29070) - you deserved it (3468)
On 01/13/2010 at 2:36pm - misc - by boundandgagged (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend had to be hospitalized to drain poison from a bad spider bite. His mom is convinced that he got it from my house and won't let him come over anymore. I suppose she's right, because guess who found a spider web under their bed today, along with 5 new spider bites? FML
I agree, your life sucks (23610) - you deserved it (3427)
On 01/02/2010 at 2:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was watching the show "Sixteen and Pregnant". I started bawling when the girl's dirtbag boyfriend proposed to her with a $20 ring he bought from Walmart because I was so lonely and was jealous of her "romantic relationship". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19783) - you deserved it (8463)
On 12/15/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I went to a school committee meeting. I sat opposite my boyfriend. To get his attention I began stroking his crotch area with my leg. The principal stood up 5 minutes later pulling me under the table. My tights were caught in his zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5461) - you deserved it (21713)
On 09/29/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by clumssyXO (woman) - Hungary (Veszprem)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (11458)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54616) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Monday 20 May 2013
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