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actionjackkk

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actionjackkk

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actionjackkk's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39503) - you deserved it (2106)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

#18286686
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29420) - you deserved it (2452)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Tyler - United States (Iowa)

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7079) - you deserved it (99181)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (4295)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

#17666764
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24241) - you deserved it (12560)

On 09/05/2011 at 12:38am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9812) - you deserved it (22985)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28809) - you deserved it (2747)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

#16774144
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36241) - you deserved it (11659)

On 06/21/2011 at 12:46am - love - by holdengurl18 - China

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39060) - you deserved it (3612)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom publicly pole danced. In a playground. FML

#16416725
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46327) - you deserved it (4205)

On 05/30/2011 at 11:46am - misc - by Jess - United States

Today, my husband got out of the shower, came downstairs naked screaming ''EMBRACE THE HARDNESS!!'' Little did he know, my step mother was sitting right there at the kitchen table. FML

#15934305
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43776) - you deserved it (5538)

On 04/26/2011 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by Scarlett - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (12921)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I wore my cheerleading uniform to my boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentioned a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I started acting sassy and a little mean, figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not, because he started to cry. FML

#15658091
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (44419)

On 04/05/2011 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by oc_cheergirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (53468) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my girlfriend, when she started pinching me for not wearing green. To my complete shock, when she pinched my nipple, I got the biggest, most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life, and no matter what I did, it wouldn't go away. We were in public. FML

#15355329
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38998) - you deserved it (8165)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by Mr. Sensitive Nips - United States (Texas)



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