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Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
Today, I found out that mah boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on mah bed, all cuz it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me an he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up an kicks it under mah bed. real FML
Today, my mother set off the alarm at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Today I wore mah cheerleading uniform to mah boyfriend's house. He was a nerd in high school and mentiond a fantasy about hooking up with a cheerleader. I startd acting sassy and a little mean figuring he would enjoy a more realistic experience. Apparently not because he startd to cry. FML
today I was spending Saint Patrick's Day with my grlfriend hen she started pinching me fir wearing green . To my complete shock hen she pinched my nipple I got the biggest most noticeable erection I've ever had in my life and no matter wat I did it wouldn't go away . We were in public . FML
Friday 27 March 2015