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actionjackkk

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actionjackkk

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Today after years of bad blood mah husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about mah pregnancy his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him his wife called the police and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

#20030486
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27685) - you deserved it (1602)

On 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I had to finally accept that mah husband is too large for me . Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except mah private parts can't handle it . After several infections brought on after vaginal tereing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up mah sex life . FML

#20028986
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49732) - you deserved it (3591)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, as I was riding mah bike, mah foot slippd and I did a slow sped-tumble over the top, ripping mah balls wide open. Number of stitches: too looool many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. fat FML

#20027548
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39566) - you deserved it (2323)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

TODAY AT THE BEACH, MAH BOYFRIEND PICKD ME UP AND CARRID ME OVER HIS SHOULDER. I FELT MAH BIKINI TOP COME UNDONE IN THE PROCESS. I PANICKD AND PULLD DOWN ON HIS SHORTS. WE WERE FIND FOR INDECENT EXPOSURE. FML

#19757535
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21692) - you deserved it (9033)

On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, ( Don't worry, kitty. One day, u and I... we will rule. ) mega FML

#19734981
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27175) - you deserved it (2846)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)

yesterday I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly . After a few drinks, he calld a cab for us . When it arrivd, I seducingly askd, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both . I'll go to mine and u go to yours" and walkd away . The cab driver laughd the whole way home . FML

#19509709
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (11034)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice ma blowjob skills, since ma boyfriend is always complaining tat I'm bad at giving ead. Let's just say ma lungs now ave tere daily dose of potassium. FML

#19450302
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9545) - you deserved it (33464)

On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30625) - you deserved it (18855)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today,hile sitting on the toilet , I noticed there was no toilet paper left , so I dug through purse to use one and only pad as a substitute!! It clogged the toilet , and I started period ten minutes later!! FML

#19035174
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (17922)

On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26106) - you deserved it (8307)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41224) - you deserved it (9752)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I Got To Say, "My Best Friend Hookd Up With My Step-sister's Grandma's Aunt" And Be Correct. FML

#18465565
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25796) - you deserved it (2289)

On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada

Today , my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile , fighting back teres. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. mega FML

#18358033
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68627) - you deserved it (3357)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)

Today, a woman and her daughter cummd into the store I work at. The girl placd a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessd she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already looool hered a lecture, I simply thankd her fir bringing them back. Her mom yelld at me fir not yelling at her. FML

#18304888
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (2921)

On 11/21/2011 at 2:02am - work - by disciplinaryaction (woman) - United States (Connecticut)



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