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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38468) - you deserved it (2644)
On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (1493)
On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (2175) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/05/2012 at 4:11am - misc - by FauteuilEver Alone (man) - France
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16222) - you deserved it (6530)
On 06/08/2012 at 10:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20929) - you deserved it (1983)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20795) - you deserved it (7967)
On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)
Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7429) - you deserved it (27812)
On 04/11/2012 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by potassiumgirl - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22574) - you deserved it (12996)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)
Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (14862)
On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (7125)
On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33647) - you deserved it (7591)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (1632)
On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada
Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58495) - you deserved it (2790)
On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)
Today, a woman and her daughter came into the store I work at. The girl placed a pair of underpants on the counter, and confessed she had stolen them earlier. Assuming she had already heard a lecture, I simply thanked her for bringing them back. Her mom yelled at me for not yelling at her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26237) - you deserved it (2530)
On 11/21/2011 at 2:02am - work - by disciplinaryaction (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38719) - you deserved it (2065)
On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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