acs123acs

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Offline (the 11/18/2016 at 8:10pm)

acs123acs

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Beaver Falls, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 23 January 1945 (71 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7465
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

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acs123acs's page activity

Visits<b>grammarsnail</b> - the 10/06/2016 at 1:00am<b>rissamarie</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 8:49pm<b>annielies</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 8:20pm<b>MostafaH</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 4:48pm<b>joshklander</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 5:45pm<b>thatsorylan</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 8:53am<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:26am<b>melons</b> - the 09/10/2015 at 4:13am<b>shellybug_</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 10:58pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:46am<b>Mitchellbassists</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:54am<b>Gregor1234</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 4:45pm<b>realtree_girl</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:39pm<b>sabres5730</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 11:06am<b>brook823</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:46pm<b>geass_user</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 7:43pm<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:28pm<b>stephano12345</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 12:31am

acs123acs's FML badges

YDI master

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acs123acs's favorite FMLs

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

by wtfjusthappened / 01/31/2014 at 10:29am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

by anon / 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

by gottacatchemall / 01/08/2014 at 12:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

by Okay_Then / 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

by back to creepers / 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm / United Kingdom (Worcestershire) / Geek

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

by oh why... / 12/20/2013 at 9:51am / United States / Love

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML

by Anonymous / 12/09/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving home, when a truck overtook me. Two of the Christmas trees it was carrying fell off straight into my bumper. The car behind me pulled over, but instead of seeing if I was okay, he just went to see whether or not either of the trees was in good enough shape to take home. FML

by mooselord / 12/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States / Health

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML

by JudasThePriest / 12/01/2013 at 2:42am / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:02am / Norway / Health

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

by yulis / 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm / United States (Maryland) / Money