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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14712) - you deserved it (34431)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50784) - you deserved it (2007)
On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while working at my life guard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and harshly yelled "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (16890)
On 08/09/2009 at 11:27am - kids - by ugh.. (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14783) - you deserved it (46528)
On 08/07/2009 at 1:09pm - love - by accidentalslut (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found why exactly my clothes always seemed more stretched out after about a week of owning them. My mom steals and wears them when she goes clubbing. My mom is 46, twice my size, and gets out more than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (2879)
On 08/07/2009 at 11:31am - misc - by Crazyyyymomentsss (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20845) - you deserved it (34403)
On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44886) - you deserved it (4909)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35584) - you deserved it (2309)
On 07/31/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by passedoutpolly (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (3064)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:21am - intimacy - by thesockmancometh (man) - United States (Texas) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my 8 year old little sister said "f you" to my mom. My mom thought I told her to say that and grounded me for a month. Later, my sister came up to me and said "Gotcha, bitch." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45828) - you deserved it (2673)
On 07/30/2009 at 11:11am - kids - by Toaster (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13573) - you deserved it (35808)
On 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm - animals - by emmey (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I said to our pool-boy, "I know what you're doing, and you have to stop it." He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47803) - you deserved it (6276)
On 07/23/2009 at 7:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I was at the airport to catch a plane. It was very crowded at the gate and there was nowhere to sit except for a flat metal bench, so I sat on that. Turns out I was sitting on a luggage scale, so my weight was displayed for everybody to see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14320) - you deserved it (32249)
On 07/21/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was going on a first date with a girl I really like. We were going to see the new Harry Potter movie, and she told me she was getting all dressed up. It was only after I picked her up I realized she meant that she was dressing nicely. I was dressed as Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22381) - you deserved it (47349)
On 07/18/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by harrysolo (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48262) - you deserved it (2125)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 17 June 2013
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