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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5358
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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acs123acs's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom insisted on making my lunch. She didn't know that knives are banned at my high school, and packed me a steak knife for cream cheese. I'm now suspended for 7 days, and she refuses to say that she did anything wrong. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53556) - you deserved it (5090)

On 05/26/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by megangubler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49974) - you deserved it (6852)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my grandpa to the store because his car is in the shop. I was well within the speed limit, but he kept yelling at me for "speeding", then accused me of trying to give him a heart attack, and eventually pulled the e-brake, getting us rear-ended. He refuses to apologise. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47891) - you deserved it (3770)

On 05/03/2014 at 2:15pm - work - by kezbabes - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47065) - you deserved it (3666)

On 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML

Today, I set up a small social gathering for a few friends. One of them didn't have a ride, so the others, who'd already shown up, went to go give him a ride. After no sign of them for a whole hour, I called to see what was wrong. They went out to eat and completely forgot about me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47167) - you deserved it (4234)

On 03/02/2014 at 12:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34059) - you deserved it (51025)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36770) - you deserved it (6459)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50191) - you deserved it (3853)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59941) - you deserved it (6632) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML


I agree, your life sucks (50534) - you deserved it (4317)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64222) - you deserved it (12556)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (58128) - you deserved it (35102)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64512) - you deserved it (28011)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

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