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acs123acs

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acs123acs

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3032
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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acs123acs's page activity

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acs123acs's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35151) - you deserved it (6256)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47401) - you deserved it (3608)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML

#21046533
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56977) - you deserved it (6329) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47159) - you deserved it (4015)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59037) - you deserved it (11451)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53626) - you deserved it (32488)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I tried to lose my virginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. FML

#21020996
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62029) - you deserved it (26981)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, a customer started a conversation by telling me how smart he'd heard I am, and finished it by explaining his theory that only smart people commit suicide. He then gave me a knowing look and said, "Just something I thought you should think about," and left without buying anything. FML

#21013314
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34917) - you deserved it (2696)

On 01/01/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by Okay_Then (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45379) - you deserved it (6010)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43850) - you deserved it (2594)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39723) - you deserved it (2994)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50375) - you deserved it (4054)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, I got a call from a girl I dated long ago, who cheated on me and got pregnant by another guy, or so we thought. Turns out it isn't his, and she is taking me to court for child support. FML

#20986260
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50109) - you deserved it (7255)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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