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acomlapse

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 297
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 31 posted

About acomlapse : Today, I read FML for 12 hours straight. FML

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acomlapse's favorite FMLs

Today, the mall got evacuated while I was getting my hair colored. I am now standing outside of a crowded mall, wearing a showercap. FML

#19833601
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22035) - you deserved it (2575)

On 06/23/2012 at 11:11am - misc - by tylah - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (4098)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I told my girlfriend I love her for the first time. She said, "Thanks." FML

#19833451
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (3475)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:23am - love - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22220) - you deserved it (6974)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML

#19832174
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (3060)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom reached the lowest point of her midlife crisis. She convinced herself she's psychic and grounded me for something she "knows" I'm going to do. FML

#19832041
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24516) - you deserved it (1605)

On 06/23/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Coffee Boy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

#19831438
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25389) - you deserved it (8034)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:57pm - misc - by GM38 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a wet dream in the middle of an 8-hour-long airplane flight. FML

#19830472
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (3863)

On 06/22/2012 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Uncomfy (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML

#19830019
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29988) - you deserved it (1879)

On 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm - kids - by pon-3 (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7303) - you deserved it (22669)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

#19828906
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (1690)

On 06/22/2012 at 12:14pm - work - by lynn (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21599) - you deserved it (3144)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML

#19828397
273 comments

Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML

#19826088
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6254) - you deserved it (32022)

On 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm - love - by a stupid jackass (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my sister called me and asked if my boyfriend of 3 years had proposed to me yet. And now the surprise is ruined. FML

#19796347
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (2582)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:57am - love - by anonymous - United States



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